Why You're A Terrible Customer, Available Now

What do naked chicks, drunks, junkies, assholes and the homeless all have in common? Pizza. They all order pizza. Whether it's with food stamps or a duffel bag full of recyclables. They all find some way to pay for their pizza and ruin the night of those of us who are unfortunate enough to be stuck on the wrong end of the order taking counter. As a delivery driver, I can tell you right now, I'm absolutely fed up with having to internalize the more ludicrous actions of these cretins. I know I'm not alone in this frustrating battle of the tards either. That's why I wrote a book about all this nonsense that's conveniently being released today. I want to bring a little awareness to the communicative missteps of these individuals as well as direct some attention towards the more unfortunate trends that are cropping up in social situations these days. Employees, employers, girlfriends, boyfriends, best friends, strangers, we're all in this together, and a few common sense tactics, or even just a simple awareness of our own continued stupidity based on my rather potent pizza delivery anecdotes can make our collective ride through this life a whole hell-of-a-lot more pleasant.

If you're curious about the content; I touch on moderately racist topics such as who tips the most based on race and gender. I dive into what topless chicks, drug addicts and white supremacists have offered me for free food, and overall I just try to describe the terribleness that is the life of a retail peon. 

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