I was on the phone the other day with what sounded like a twenty-something year-old girl when I got a completely unexpected question. Now, I've been hit with quite a few doozies like, "Are your hot wings hot?" and, "If your mediums and larges both have eight slices, then what's the difference?" This girl took the questioning to a whole new level, though. She asked "Are your cheesy breadsticks made with real cheese?" I had no clue how to answer this question, because really, what kind of fake cheese am I conjuring up to slap on your pizza related goodies? Am I just melting down recyclables and spreading the resulting love on your loaf of bread with a rusty spoon, or is it much more likely that we're going to use some fresh cheese that we purchased wholesale from Sysco? I just laughed and said "Yes. Our CHEESY breadsticks are made with real cheddar and mozzarella cheese." I tried not to be condescending and to be as polite as possible, but sometimes I just can't omit my demeaning tone or stifle a laugh when I'm blindsided by a question like that. She then paused and said, "You know what I mean, sometimes you don't use real cheese." This is the point of the conversation that I don't understand. Why double down on your retarded question when you have the glorious option to backtrack? The instinctual response should be to say, "Scrap that last question. I'm three liters of JD and an eight ball into my night so I'm a little off kilter at the moment....hold on, *sniff*, sorry, I just had to do a rail of coke and hit my OD-ing friend with a syringe filled with adrenaline. Yeah, send those Cheese sticks my way ASAP." Instead, people deem it necessary to treat their nonsensical statements like their a life preserver and their stranded in the middle of the Pacific. Never mind that the preserver is coated in seal's blood and your smack dab in the middle of a pod of orcas.
We did a few laps before she eventually just asked for the price. In my opinion she was a nice enough girl, she just needed to learn the valuable life lesson of backtracking and accepting her momentary lapse of judgment. A lesson I think we all need to learn and acknowledge to make this world a better and more intellectually gifted place.